Memorial Day and Summer Vacation: How Florida Parents Can Avoid Time-Sharing Disputes

For divorced and separated parents, holidays and summer vacations can often test their ability to have amicable and productive discussions about time-sharing. While a comprehensive and well-drafted time-sharing plan should provide clear guidance for these types of special circumstances, it is not unusual for questions and disagreements to arise.

When questions and disagreements arise, making informed and reasonable decisions is essential for avoiding contentious disputes. Ideally, this will involve making decisions that align with the parents’ time-sharing plan. But, what if the parents’ time-sharing plan doesn’t provide relevant guidance? Or, what if one parent isn’t willing to stick to their agreement?

Here are some key considerations:

If You Are Preparing for a Divorce or Separation in Florida

Let’s say you are preparing to go through a divorce or separation in Florida. With Memorial Day and summer vacation just around the corner, you are wondering how you can address these types of special circumstances—when sticking to your standard weekly time-sharing schedule isn’t going to work. So, what can (and should) you do?

As with all aspects of going through a divorce or separation, careful planning with foresight is key. Along with developing a standard time-sharing schedule that works for everyone the majority of the time, you will also want to think about how to address holidays and vacations specifically. If you and your spouse are willing to work together in good faith, you will have a significant amount of flexibility to develop a plan that you can use to avoid disputes in the future. Some examples of options you may want to consider include:

• Alternating holidays (i.e., you will have parenting time on Memorial Day and your former spouse or partner will have parenting time on Independence Day)
• Alternating years (i.e., you will have parenting time on Memorial Day this year and your former spouse or partner will have parenting time on Memorial Day next year)
• Establishing parameters for summer vacation planning (i.e., each parent will be able to plan a one-week vacation, subject to any scheduling conflicts identified by a certain date in advance)

These are just a few examples of numerous possibilities. Regardless of the options you ultimately choose, the key is to ensure that what you and your spouse or partner have agreed to is clearly outlined in your time-sharing plan. With a clear and comprehensive plan in place, you will both know what to expect when holidays and summer vacations appear on the calendar, and this will go a long way toward helping you avoid disputes down the line.

If You Are Preparing for Memorial Day or Summer Vacation After a Divorce or Separation

What if you are already divorced or separated? If you are preparing for this Memorial Day or summer vacation, how can you make plans without your efforts to communicate devolving into a contentious dispute?

In this scenario, the first step is to review your time-sharing plan. If you have not done so already, you should look back through your time-sharing plan to remind yourself what it says about holidays and vacation time. You and your former spouse or partner will both need to stick to your agreement (unless you formally agree otherwise), so it is important to make sure you are simply seeking to enforce the terms you already have in place.

Here are some additional tips you can follow to help ensure that the process is as smooth as possible:

• Communicate Early – You should start communicating with your former spouse or partner before you put a plan in place. You can start by making sure you are generally on the same page regarding which one of you has parenting time, and then you can address the logistics as necessary. Waiting until the last minute can increase the risk of facing a dispute, particularly if you have both been making plans in the background.  
• Communicate in Writing – When communicating about holiday and vacation planning, it is a good idea to communicate in writing. If you talk on the phone, follow up with a text or email to confirm what you discussed. This will help you avoid any disagreements about what was (or wasn’t) said, and this will help you avoid last-minute disputes as well.
• Be Firm But Flexible – If you have parenting time under your time-sharing plan, it is important to stand firm in enforcing your rights. At the same time, some flexibility may be warranted when it comes to making specific plans or accommodations. For example, if your former spouse or partner wants to check in while your child is out of the state or out of the country, this may be a reasonable accommodation to make even if it isn’t specifically provided for in your plan.
• Stay Focused – When communicating about holiday or summer vacation planning, it is generally a good idea to stay focused on the subject at hand. Don’t let your discussion get muddled with other topics; and, if your former spouse or partner starts getting confrontational, keep a level head and do your best to avoid responding in kind.
• Seek Help if Necessary – Finally, if you and your former spouse or partner cannot come to terms, you should not hesitate to seek help. You can seek advice from an experienced family law attorney if necessary; and, if your time-sharing plan calls for mediation, your attorney can help you make an informed decision about whether it makes sense to pursue mediation under the circumstances at hand.

If your time-sharing plan doesn’t address holidays and vacation time, or if your time-sharing plan no longer works for your current circumstances, it may be worth considering a modification. An experienced family law attorney can help with this as well. Generally speaking, you should not deviate from the terms of your time-sharing plan unless and until you make a formal change, as this can also potentially lead to disputes in the future.

Discuss Your Situation with an Experienced Florida Family Law Attorney in Confidence

If you need to know more about what you can do to avoid time-sharing disputes related to Memorial Day or summer vacation, we invite you to get in touch. To discuss your situation with an experienced Florida family law attorney in confidence, please call 800-705-5457 or contact us confidentially online today.